Thursday, April 28, 2011

Easter Bundt and Beyond


The bundt pan continues to make its steadfast march, like Rommel through the desert, among cast and crew here in cusp-of-spring New Jersey as three more bundts have occurred since last we left off… But not to worry. Each and every moment of bundt-currances will shortly be relayed to you oh loyal blog reader. The minutia of each bundting and the subsequent performance will be relived for you in what 7/10 of the coveted, Men 18-34 age demographic, agree is the best way to relay any live event: pictures and words. So let’s write some words.


When we last left off, James had been text-bundted by Filly in a bundt which some mused may indeed be “A bundt for the 21st Century.” That “some” in question may or may not simply just be what I posted last entry, but either way, when the dust settled and the cake batter cooked: James had been bundted. To introduce his bundt, James welcomed to the stage his similarly talented, wunderkind cousin and Production Assistant extraordinaire, Leanne. For those who don’t know, Leanne has a set of pipes that can make a cathedral pipe organ blush and has been known to belt out Red Cadillac versions of Queen’s “Somebody to Love” when so moved by... the spirits. Presenting his Easter-themed bundt, James and Leanne performed a choreographed tap-dance routine and song with clever lyrics which culminated in the revealing of their bundt cake. Behold:


During the next week of production at some point, James stole into the bedroom of Casting AP Keith Olsen in what I imagine was a very sneaky maneuver, probably involving sneakers. Additionally there have been some unconfirmed reports claiming a ski mask, a grappling hook, flash bombs, ninjas, and WMDs were also used to penetrate to Keith's sleeping quarters, where James then placed the bundt pan gingerly on Keith's pillow, left a note, and made haste stealthily into the night...


That following Salon Monday Keith delivered a rousing Jersey Bundt Speech borrowing heavily from Dr. Martin Luther King's "I have a dream" speech. Holding court over the amazed onlookers of The Gatsby, Keith dreamed of a world where those with spray tans and those who don't spray tan can finally get along together.


Keith has a dream.

And that dream involves the tanned and untanned getting along together on the surface of a bundt cake that looks like this:



And so during the following week on a night that involved filming at a bowling alley, Keith came up with a clever and inclusive way to pass the bundt; a way in which everyone could feel the anxiety of the bundt without having to fully experience the act itself. When A Team arrived at the first location of the night the walkie case was laying in wait for everyone, it didn't discriminate. And we were all greeted with a sign on the outside of the walkie case. Ominously it warned "Someone's Walkie has been BUNDTED! If you can't find your walkie--guess what--you are bundted." As your dogged reporter of bundt happenings I was of course on the scene. As I approached the walkie case my pulse quickened and my breath become irregular. A single bead of sweat rolled languidly down the side of my temple. I pulled open the lid to reveal the bundt pan with one walkie taped inside the pan with it's name obscured. Frantically I dug through the walkies. No sight of my walkie. I checked again. Nothing. Sheepishly I peeled back the tape on the walkie in the pan to reveal my name.


I had been bundted.




No comments:

Post a Comment